Moisture in the Air

The water is almost gone, but it’s still lingering in the air. It’s like an evil demon here to destroy me but I will dispose of it first. My time at home is now full of watching movies at high volume to hear over the humming and lying on the floor with Mur-Man and Widget, no chairs or couches for us. After this whole incident of home flooding I’ve learned to keep my doors locked, due to drunken neighbors wanting to come in and talking about how bad this sucks for me. Just a warning to you all you neighbors out there, when drinking please try and stay away from me and don’t try and yell your stupid questions from across the grass. THANKS!!

PS. Only two soda cans for me today!

Water..Never Again!

As of last night I decided that water is not my friend, it was just never meant to be. While going out to eat delouse pizza pie last night I was instantly hit with a mother’s intuition. About 20 minutes earlier a million gallons of rain came down on our little town and knowing that my animals where home living in the ground I knew I had to get there. Opening the door to my apartment the carpet was having a nice little (BIG) soaking in a crap load of rain water. It was draining in from the walls and Murphy was running around in it like he was at a picnic or something. After having a small heart attack and making several phone calls with a high pitch alarming voice I found my apartment at stage one, everything packed back away and off the walls. Four days for the carpet to dry, 4 days for CRAP TO DRY!! So currently I will be living in a wind tunnel and bathing with tubes. Water is meant to stay out of my apartment; it only comes in when I invite it in in small quantities, such as in bottles and watering cans. Water and I were never that close in the beginning as you may know but now I’m defiantly not giving that bastard a chance. You just screwed yourself H2O!!!

On a Hot Day

One our daily trip to Kwik Trip this morning Murphy and I ran into a little bit of a dilemma. Even with our VIP parking (employee parking) we were still forced to park in the hot hot sun. Not wanting to come back to the car to an extra crispy puppy who I could later serve on a kabob or in a puppy soup of some sort, I knew we had to figure something out. So grapping a hoodie from the back seat I whipped it on and tucked Murphy inside. Hoping they didn’t notice the giant bulge coming from my stomach; I ran into Kwik Trip in a slow kind of way, but then realized I had to go to the bathroom. Moving quickly to the restroom with my newly added extra 16lbs I entered and found myself squatting above the toilet; holding Murphy’s bottom so I wouldn’t have a pee filled puppy on my hands. But on the bright side at least it was nice and air conditioned in there.

Out Our Back Door

Today Murphy and I saw a few interesting things. Wells Fargo employees sleeping in their cars, homeless men pooping in the grass and small children pretending the sidewalk was a swimming pool and that was all before 4pm. Our neighborhood isn’t the best place to live but makes for good blog material. Even sitting outside can be a gamble for us sometimes. Like today we sat in the backyard and the same “not so sane” lady with her half gray hair and her half there shirt keep pacing back and forth, I knew she was up to no good. Giving her directions a few different times to a few different places she finally left once I told her my puppy had rabies and that I was also infected with the scary disease. She then called me a bitch and then ran away. I was only being nice and she had to go off and do that…naughty naughty.

Sad Day

Yes, I do think its ridicules to cry at a 5 min preview for a movie, but if there’s a cute little puppy in it, it’s hard to hold it back. I’m getting so pathetic these days. I was watching the opening credits for a movie this morning and found myself crying by the time it was over. I have found my weakness, puppies! Just put a puppy/dog in any situation and I’ll cave like a sandcastle on a rainy day.

P.S. I don’t think it’s a bad thing to want to carry around an oversized purse just to fit your extra soda cans.

Coming soon:
Dana, Murphy and Widget Comic!

Getting to know Widget

Some people have been feeling that I need to include widget more in my blog. For those
who don’t know Widget started off as my tester kitty for Murphy. About 5 months ago I felt that Murphy’s kitty phobia had to be corrected. So we got Widget in the effort to help him with his fears and to give him a little responsibility in life and today I’m proud to say that Murphy’s phobic has been curried! I’ve put Murphy in charge of Widget; he keeps him on a daily schedule of play time, eating and naps. Murphy, Jerry Seinfeld and I have even started discussing having Widget be apart of our TV show plans. We told him he just needs to work on his stage presence. But with Mur being his new talent coach I’m sure he’ll be fine.

Our Tv Idea

This morning Murphy and I watched our dear favorite Jerry Seinfeld co-host the Live with Regis and Kelly Show. We oh so enjoyed watching Jerry tell Kelly Ripa he couldn’t believe she got paid to do this mindless job everyday. Sitting there watching Murphy and I discussed how we should be the ones co-hosting with Seinfeld, and that we should have a show with him. Maybe call it something like “Sein, Sikkia and Pup” or maybe “Discussions about Nothing”, something along those lines. We three would be a hit; we’d give our options about current events and celebrities. Even visit fascinating places like ice cream shops and cool ass puppy parks and pools. Murphy could even give cooking tips while Jerry and I look up what Halloween costumes are the best to wear in summer. We’d let our viewers know the shocking truth about the awesomely dumb stuff that’s out there. I smell a hit!!!

Defeat

Yesterday I started my Kwik Trip challenge. The goal was to go with out any Kwik Trip products for at least one week. I made it through the morning hours but as soon as evening came around I knew I was going to be in trouble. Sitting all days at work canned soda just wasn’t cooking it for me. …..so I caved, it hit 8:15pm and I couldn’t find my self control any where. Filling up my refill cup with delicious fountain soda I knew my anxiety was coming to an end. Thinking to myself, how could I resist this place? It’s so so so wonderful and they even let me park in employee parking when it's busy and there’s no where else to park. Can’t beat that!

Facebook Doctor

Let’s just say there are negatives and positives to having my doctor on Facebook. On the positive side it’s nice to quickly ask if my stomach is going to explode from a wormy overload from the sushi I ate the night before. But yet on the negative side he sees how many cans per hour of Diet Pepsi I intake. This makes its harder to lie to his face when he asks me how many cans I’m drinking a day, since I’m sure with a little calculation or reading a blogs or two he would be able to come to a conclusion; then followed by “the talk” of how soda is killing my body, not helping it grow into the flower it really is. But deleting him off my Facebook would mean no more status updates of basketball scores and strawberry bushes. Oh the decisions…oh so hard.

Ridding Partner

Today I laid outside enjoying the warmth of the sun on my semi-ziti face, while I was greeted (interrupted) by one of my upstairs neighbors. He introduced himself followed by asking if I lived alone or if I had roommates. I said, “No, it’s just me a Murphy here.” He then replied with, “Is Murphy your son?” Looking at him as if he was a complete idiot I just said yeah, not wanting to have to continue our wonderful conversation. But maybe when he only sees me ridding my bike with a puppy dog strapped to my chest and not a baby he’ll get the hint.

Wishful Thinking

I wish I was a kitty because kitties don’t get hangovers .

Worm

I need to get Murphy (aka pumpkin patch) an anti tummy worm pill, pronto! He ate some sushi last night and I don’t want him to get sushi worms in his puppy tummy. I called the veterinarian today and they said they didn’t think he would be able get worms from just eating sushi. “But Grandma Colette told me it was possible,” I said. They thought he would be ok, and that maybe I was overrating. So hopefully I don’t wake up tomorrow with a puppy full of sushi worms, since I’m not authorized to perform anti worm surgery.

Pumpkin Patch

This weekend Murphy and I purchased 144 cans of Diet Pepsi on super sale!! Then this morning we finally got to see how our soda habit is helping out the citizens of our lovely town. We were out and about like we do every morning and when returning to our home we spotted a local homeless man digging through our trash. With having no cares about it Mur and I exited our car with me caring two 12 packs of soda. The homeless man who we will call Willy looked up and said, “Is this your garbage can?”
I replied with, “Yeah it is, why?”
Then he turned back and said to us, “Thanks for all the soda cans, this is my favorite stop to pick through.” Only good things come from a soda can! …True Story!

Side note: Murphy’s new nick name is Pumpkin Patch!