Hair Cuts

So last night when dropping Widget off at Kitty Land I decided to stay around for a few minutes to see how he would be in his new surroundings. Instantly finding a new hiding place I thought he’d be good to go. A few seconds later King Alpo appeared and wasn’t very happy about his new little friend. Alpo felt threatened by Widgets good looks so he threw him out of Kitty Land and was told to never return. When leaving Widget threw up his fist and yelled, “This isn’t the last you’ve heard of me Alpo”. Oh well, Widget can just stay home where he belongs, screw Kitty Land. Maybe I’ll bring him to my hair cut appointment tonight and we can both shave Murphy into the sides of our heads cuz we miss him so much. Also so then when people ask me about Mur I won’t have to take out my phone and show off my millions of photos, I can just point to my sweet ass hair cut. I can hear the Awwwwwwwwwwws already. Speaking of which I need to get on that new family portrait to introduce you all to the new foster child/kitty of the family. I’m thinking Valentines or St. Patties day cards. Oh what holiday do we over exaggerate this time.

Weekend Getaways

This morning I made it to the gym with perfect timing. I was able to snatch the best treadmill in the place, right in the far corner away from everyone. Usually it’s a rat race to see who gets it. My running mates consist of two other men, tight pants man and gray shirt guy. Both I’m sure ranging in their 60s but don’t let that fool you, their no strangers of pushing and hair pulling. Today I could feel the tension between us when we all walked together while Kelly Ripa spoke about her friend’s fake breast. It’s hard to become friends when their conversations consist of their most recent heart attacks. I’m just here to look good naked, not to unclog an artery. But anyways, after getting home I spent some time with the children. Today I’m sending both of my creatures off on their weekend getaways. Murphy is going to a lovely (low key) little summer (winter) camp up north where he can play all day, take in a movie or two and have his afternoon snack of milk and cookies next to the fire. Widget on the other hand won’t be traveling as far. He’ll be venturing off to Kitty Land, a place where kitties can rome free. Kitty Land is run by a King Alpo, the biggest and toughest cat around, hopefully Widget gets in good with him so King Alpo allows him return another time. I will miss both of my little dumplings even thou it’s only for a couple days, but as a patent I must allow them go grow from little seeds to the budding flowers they are.

The Great Escape

Now I’ve got a puppy that will only eating cat food and a kitty that will only eat puppy food. Also Widget won’t eat anything unless it’s given to him in the bowl marked Murphy. But his eating habits aren’t the only thing that confuses me. Murphy and I woke up this morning to no Widget. Searching every little corner and box he was no where to be found. My apartment is the smallest thing in the world and somehow he found a hiding place unseen to the naked eye. I think over night Widget built a secret tunnel leading to other places in the building, using such tools as forks, spoons, sewing needles and pocket knifes. It’s just like in that movie The "Great Escape", a World War II mass escape from the German prisoner-of-war camp Stalag Luft III, but without all the scary war stuff and Steve McQueen helping him out. After 20 minutes of freaking out and convincing myself Widgets taken his treats and headed off to better lands, he appears out of nowhere acting as if he was hiding no secrets. While he was distracted by Murphy on the couch I continue to search for the great passage way. Widget must have hidden the opening, covering it with fabric or a pierce of the rug. With no success I return to watching Regis and Kelly, a few seconds later I make eye contact with Widget and give him the “I’m on to you” glare, but he continues to play with Mur I’m sure in the effort to throw me off. But I’m on to him and he knows it.

It's a Love/Hate Thing

Everyone has their eyeballs today so the first night went good. Widget has been changing hiding places every couple hours, and will come out of hiding once he hears Mur running back and forth from the bathroom to the couch. I can feel the love/hate between the two little creatures. Widget has been loving up on Mur, trying to rub is kitty love dust all over him, but Murphys still been crapping his little puppy pants when Widget gets to close. As a loving mother I still want to show Mur he's my special little child. We spent some time together last night, while Widget was in hiding doing some of our favorite Sunday rituals. We walked up and down the hall guessing the stains on the floor left over from the weekend. One example is, puke or soup from Erbert and Gerberts? It's a lovely game to play when looking for something to do on a Sunday evening. But with it being the beginning of another week I spent this early morning at the gym and left Mur at home to watch over Widget. It was lonely on the treadmill without him but I'm sure he's getting his exercise at home running away from his new found kitty friend.

The Great Murphy/Widget Experiment

Today starts The Great Murphy/Widget Experiment, Widget will be playing the role of the kitty in our experiment. For the past year or so Mur has grown to have a huge phobia of kitty cats and I hope that having Widget around will help him get over his kitty sickness. After these few days Mur will understand that not all cats are spans of Satan. I will be holding a few little experiment of my own to help familiarize them selves with each other. Hopefully we wont have any bloody eyeballs by the end of the day. But first I'm still waiting for Widget to come out from behind the bathroom door. Mur keeps introducing himself to him by poking his head around the door but he's content with the darkness of his door nest. The three of us just spent the last hour having family time in the bathroom with the lights off. Hopefully we can introduce him to our love Pepsi, Seinfeld and sewing. I keep telling Murphy he's still the man of the house and not to worry, but he's never been much of a man dog, stay tune for more details. *Side-note- Widget is a great kitty and I'm currently fostering him from the Blue Earth Human Society, you can do the same and help a great kitty or puppy out by taking them into your home while they try to find permanent ones.

The Great Murphy/Widget Experiment

Today starts The Great Murphy/Widget Experiment, Widget will be playing the role of the kitty in our experiment. For the past year or so Mur has grown to have a huge phobia of kitty cats and I hope that having Widget around will help him get over his kitty sickness. After these few days Mur will understand that not all cats are spans of Satan. I will be holding a few little experiment of my own to help familiarize them selves with each other. Hopefully we wont have any bloody eyeballs by the end of the day. But first I'm still waiting for Widget to come out from behind the bathroom door. Mur keeps introducing himself to him by poking his head around the door but he's content with the darkness of his door nest. The three of us just spent the last hour having family time in the bathroom with the lights off. Hopefully we can introduce him to our love Pepsi, Seinfeld and sewing. I keep telling Murphy he's still the man of the house and not to worry, but he's never been much of a man dog, stay tune for more details. *Side-note- Widget is a great kitty and I'm currently fostering him from the Blue Earth Human Society, you can do the same and help a great kitty or puppy out by taking them into your home while they try to find permanent ones.

Making Money

Today I wallow in sadness due to the ending of my two favorite shows, Jersey Shore and Teen Mom. I’m sure I can fill that void in my life with episodes of Celebrity Rehab and re-runs of True Life- I’m a crack addict with 6 toes or …True Life-I’m in love with my kitty and my mom disagrees. But I’m sure 16-40 year olds across the world are feeling the same sadness as I am. I must move on to bigger and better things like MTV’s newest reality show “I’m 16 and pregnant”. It’s such an original idea that it must be something of great value to spend my time watching. After getting through the pain of that I spent some of my valuable time at the local McDonalds. I was sipping down on some of their lovely Diet Coke, when I decided to sue the million dollar corporation due to overly sharp soda lids. After getting several refills my hand was brutally sliced open by their needle like soda tops. Keeping it on the down low (DL) I took my camera phone and took photos of the cuts to prove my case, I hope to be rich by the end of the month. If that plan falls through I plan to keep creating non-functional kitchens and overly sized prints of my dog. Maybe in the process of suing the giant corp. of McDonalds they will offer Murphy and me a job as their spokes persons, selling their Quarter pounders and overly sweetened tea. The add would be us on a summer day swing away on our homemade tire swing laughing at the fart noises Murphy just made from the McDonalds he just ate.

"Mugger Run"

Through out this last day or two I learned why Maxim magazine is such a great piece of reading material. I learned where to rent a room if I want to live like a human hamster for a day, where I can find a can of beer with a pig on it and what the star of the new Wolfman is really thinking. All of these things are something a young lady like my self should know. But that’s just me trying to keep current on things. With these kind of topics not really interesting Mur very much we spent yesterday evening practicing our “Mugger Run”. Mugger run is running from the sidewalk to the door, getting your key out, then running up the stairs to the apartment door without getting caught by the he/she mugger/kidnapper that’s chasing you. We must be prepared if something of this matter occurs. Mur runs faster then me so I need to practice so I can keep up. After practice I went to the fridge for a cool crisp diet Pepsi. After having a few sips of the amazing drink Murphy started to give me the eagle eye, Mur’s trying to get me to switch to more water, but I told him I drink a lot of water at work and he just doesn’t see that cuz he’s at home all day while I’m out working the grin stone making rent for us two, he’ll never understand.

Self Defence

Another lovely morning of "GMV" (Gym, Murphy, The View). After Murphy's kitty fight the other day he hasn't been as excited to watch Whoopi Goldberg as he usually is, but I'm sure he'll come around. I'm still in the process of looking for a puppy self defence tape, maybe I can order something off Amazon today. But ever since this last kitty encounter Mur has been a little sensitive around the cat population of Mankato. So I've been thinking of what I can do to help him. After long deliberation I decided TO do what any loving mother would do, confront Murphy with his fear. It's the same as if your child was scared of the water, what do you do...THROW THEM IN! Now I don't plan on throwing Mur into a pool of pissed off kitties, but maybe fostering an slow old no claws and no teeth kitty friend for a couple days. So then maybe if he's around a cat for a day or two that isn't going to claw his little ity pity eyeballs out then maybe he wont have such hate for all those wandering kitty cats out there, or maybe just starting with a stuffed cat, but that might leave a little bit of a stuffing mess on my floor....GO PUPPY POWER!!

The Homeless Love The Pup

After going to the gym this morning Murphy and I sat outside in the sun and watched the walk of shame being performed several times down our back stairway on front street. We also were greeted by Murphy's biggest fans, mankato's localy grown homeless. I try not to mind that the same guy who told me to shave my legs this last fall is petting Mur and about 5 seconds from spilling his small coffee into his puppy ears. Murphy would FREAK OUT if that happen, he's never been a huge fan of watery ear. We spent the rest of the day running around town getting brightly colored fabric, watching the Vikings Game in the bar and getting in fights with kitties. We're got another scratched eyeball on our hands, but mur will be ok. I think I need to sign him up for kids self defense classes, I think the YMCA has those, or maybe get one of those How to do Karate videos from target or best buy to keep him safe from those scary kitties and coffee drinking hobos. Now off to finsh Seinfeld night with Pepsi and bathrime.

Murphy Pie!

Today I was helped by a nice little lady at FedEx Kinko’s. After having a conversation with the wall for about 30mins, I was presented with a stack of postcards with Murphy and my self’s picture on it. I tried not too be overjoyed about seeing a photo of myself but what can you do. I had printed off the show cards for my art opening at the Carnegie Art Center in March. Waiting for my card to run through the Kinko’s employee had a look of interest on her face. She looks over and says, “is your show just pictures of your dog?” I said back, “maybe it is maybe it isn’t.” I can do lot of stuff with pictures of my dog, like making a kitchen full of puppies potholders, kitchen towels, curtains and wallpaper. Even a Murphy/Monster custom stove to cook your cookies and pies with my puppy prints on them….sounds delicious!

Treadmill Hog

Murphy and treadmills do not mix, so I found out. A grown human being and a pup pup on one treadmill is not a good Idea. Hoping to get my little buddy some winter evening exercise I introduced him to the treadmill. Holding him over the VERY SLOW moving belt I placed him down.. but no go. Murphy wasn't understanding the idea of moving his legs. I guess Murphy will just have to indire his winter weight. We'll just have to have a few more hours a week of running from the bathroon to the couch, while counting down the days till doggy park is up and running. Maybe I could get a puppy stair master...do they make anything like that?? I need to distract him while I make my Murphy/Monster wallpaper...I need Diet Pepsi!

Tv is cool!

Today I awoke to little nails or as I like to call them little knifes scratching at the back of my head. With no longer having to set an alarm clock, Murphy wakes me with his usual 8.15am routine of physco-ness. After a few minutes of staggering around and finding no diet Pepsi in the refrigerator I decide to check my email to see if Regis and Kelly emailed me back about winning a spot for a puppy co-host,…. but… no response. I then sat and watched the local news to soak up some current events, nothing to current happening, unless you count the sandal that happen on The Bachelor last night. I guess some girl on there decided to double dip and little too much and got her sticky hands caught dabbling in some crew members member. Whatever who cares, I’m more interested in the premiere of American Idol tonight. I can’t wait to getting back to wasting my time watching the crap that comes out of that show. But this does have a sad side to it as well. I’ll be missing one of my favorite shows Teen Mom, a lovely 30min a week show on MTV that follows the adventures of being a mommy and a teenager at the same time. This show is full drama filled 18year olds whose lives consist of duchebag boyfriends who are then ex-boyfriends then boyfriends then back to being ex-boyfriends; it’s all just great family TV in my mind. My brain is hurting, off to get my Best Buddy filled with ¾ diet Pepsi and the rest cherry Pepsi.

Sewing Sewing ..Jersey Shore

Last night Murphy and I continued our day/evening with episodes of Seinfeld and an overloud of Diet Pepsi cans. Sitting at my sewing table making my overly obsessed potholders, Murphy proceeded to scratch at my legs till he was allowed to sit on my lap. After about five minutes my legs lost feeling and it was time to get up, besides having a 13 lb. pup on my lap isn’t my ideal sewing surrounding. Since I was too lazy to switch the Seinfeld DVD it was getting a little repetitive after about four hours. Then off to bed to bed to share my nightly slumber with a gassy bed hog. This Morning I entertain Murphy with acting out scenes of last weeks Jersey Shore while I sip down my first Diet Pepsi of the day. Taking in my daily morning shows I sit and watch Regis and Kelly. After hearing the announcement of their beautiful baby contest I decided to enter Murphy as my 3 year old baby, that kind of looks like a dog. Maybe they won’t notice and we’ll win a punch of cold hard cash!! For the next couple days I will be awaiting my phone call from Regis saying even thou we didn’t’ win the big money they still want to bring Murphy on to be their next puppy co-host!

Getting to know us

My name is Dana Sikkila and I live my life within this little one bedroom apartment with my little pup pup Murphy (my 3 year old Boston terrier). Our day today consist of an hour or two of fetch, which is only a span of about 6 feet from the couch to the bathroom. No running room in the hallway, due to the abandoned spicy chicken wings and cheese slices left behind from the tards that live next door. I didn’t’ know drinking so much made a person lose their grip and drop their cheesy slice chicken wings so much, food goes in your mouth boys, but we need to remember who we’re dealing with. Sometimes I feel like I’m living in an adult dorm, specially designed for overly retarded 21 and up year olds. I’m sure that chicken will lay on the floor in the hallway till next weekend when they decide it would be funny to throw old rotten chicken pieces at each other after a night of hitting on 18 year olds at the local Buffalo Wild Wings. After fetch we’ll venture out of the apartment to hit up our favorite taco sale. These tacos are the best…their EXTEME tacos!!!! Finish up those tacos with pitcher or two of Diet Pepsi and my daily feeding is complete. Back home for another round of fetch and shake lessons. YUM YUM YUM…..TACOS!!