First Zoo..Second Beer

The other day a friend and I decided to become reptile investigators for a day and headed across to Owatonna to the R.A.D. Reptile Zoo. Having the highest expectations one can have when going to a reptile zoo in the middle of nowhere, we pulled up and noticed that this “zoo” was unlike any other zoo. We imaged a green swap waste land, perfect for the reptiles but instead we pulled up to a warehouse where it looked like they were making the beef for MacDonald’s big Mac inside instead of displaying creepy creatures. Walking into the building we were greeted by man made walls of plastic and fake palm trees that looked like they were purchased at Hobby Lobby. Roaming around we were given brown lettuce to throw at the turtles to eat. After a few minutes of that we had turned the turtles against each other and were smack dap in the middle of a crazy turtle brawl. But turtles can only brawl for about ten seconds or so. Then off to the next insanely small aquarium which held a 65year old alligator named Big Al who was 20 feet long. Let’s just say Big Al didn’t move very much, after 65 years of being on display I’m sure he had had it with us human folk. After an hour or so of walking in a reptile circle and having heard the soundtrack to The Lion King a few times in a row (which was playing in the background) we felt it was time to venture off to intake a few well deserved beers. We figured that after being in such a depressive zoo that it was time to go lift our spirits with a Grain Belt or two.